![]() ![]() It's not quite a grim and gritty biker bar-but it's not faking anything, either. bar food, but the drinks are on the deep side, the tap list is long, and much of the clientele could probably tell you a thing or two about motorcycles. ![]() One of the oldest eateries in Portland (it opened in 1902), Kelly's has the gravitas of a place that's been around for over a century. The neon, the road signs, the decorative motorcycles all scream "theme bar," but Kelly's Olympian manages to avoid the inauthenticity the décor would imply. If someone were to make a Broadway musical about the Open Road and America, that Broadway musical would look a lot like Kelly's Olympian. It's a weekday, you're off work, you're downtown, and you need a drink. As you walked out of your office, you imagined Sisyphus at the apex of his eternal mountain, watching the boulder tumble into the depths. You looked at other people's beautiful lives on Facebook, and exhaled loudly enough that all your coworkers could hear you. During the afternoon, you accomplished about a quarter of what you did in the morning. It was just another shitty street burrito. You thought maybe you would discover a good burrito no one knew about. You tried a cart you'd never been to or heard of. At lunch you stepped out for 30 minutes of release and got a burrito. The day started with a meeting that you were only barely conscious during, and at one point your boss called you into his office. You've spent eight hours in a work cube, hunched over a laptop.
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